Getting your head around sexual diversity and figuring out what’s right for you can be pretty difficult. The FBI Model can be helpful for understanding that diverse sexuality is not black and white but a whole spectrum of colours. It breaks sexuality down into three aspects:
Feelings & Fantasies
This is about who you are attracted to and have romantic and sexual feelings and desires about.
This is all about who you’re with. Of course you don’t need to have been sexually active with anyone to know your feelings.
This means what word or label you use to describe your sexuality. Not everyone likes labels though.
Everyone is different and can be at a different part of each spectrum in the FBI Model. This can also change at different times of people’s lives.
Nicky has a boyfriend who she’s been with for 6 months. She loves him but has started to become attracted more to girls. She’s been fantasising about both her boyfriend and some of the girls she’s been attracted to. Nicky has started to identify as bisexual but doesn’t want to break up with her boyfriend.
Five years later Nicky has had a couple more boyfriends and two girlfriends and is now with Jacquie. They have been together for a year and are about to move in together. She still fantasises about guys and girls that she’s attracted to and now prefers to call herself queer.
Not everyone’s positions on the spectrums change in their life and many people are at similar sides or parts of all three spectrums, but many people change and are different too.