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Intimacy on Your Own


Intimacy is important in relationships. However, being single is a great time to think about what you would like in a relationship, so that when you're ready to begin a new relationship, you are clear about what you are looking for and what you need from a relationship. 

Some things to think about are:

  • How do you feel when you are sad, a little depressed, in need of some comforting and reassurance? Are you able to let yourself be dependent and to receive some nurturing? Does this need to be balanced in your relationship, or does one partner need to be the ‘strong one’ who never shows any vulnerability? If so, is this really how you want things to be in your relationship?
  • How do you feel about yourself? –  when you’ve taken a bit of a knock and are feeling small and ‘put down’, or when you’ve achieved something that makes you feel good about yourself.
  • How do you feel about sex?  What you like and don’t like in your sex life and how your sexual relationship could be made more enjoyable for you. For more information about negotiating sexual activities click here
  • Do you want a partner who tells you how they think and feel, or would you prefer to have to guess and ‘mind-read?’ Are you able to be open with a partner, or do you feel that a partner would not be able to accept some of your feelings?

To find out what your ‘love style’ is click here.

Being single can also help you work out what you like in sex. There are a number of things you can do to work out what sexual activities you think you would enjoy. One of them is doing the ‘Want, Will, Won’t’ activity. While this activity can be done with a partner, you can also do it when you are single to think about what types of sexual activities would turn you on. For more information about negotiating sexual activities click here

Another activity you can do to understand what type of sex you would enjoy is to masturbate. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of joking and stigma about masturbation. However, it is important to remember that it is a normal and natural part of life. For more information about masturbation click here. 

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